I think my fart just growled at me.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
