So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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