Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Life is so much better after having sex.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
