I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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