Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Omg I joined a choir last night...
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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