I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
