One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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