thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
