You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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