Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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