She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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