i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
