Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
