at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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