Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize