Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
