and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Randomize
