So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
