My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
