Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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