Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
