Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
