Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
