We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
