somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
50% drunk capacity currently
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
