I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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