yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
