There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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