hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
What drink are we having for lunch?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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