If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
