Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
