Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
