K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
The best revenge is premature balding
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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