She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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