that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
