i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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