I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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