just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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