i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
