even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
