The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
