Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
