On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
