i'm lost and i look like a hooker
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
