Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
