Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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