Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
