you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You ruined the universe
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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