Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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