I am in a vortex of obligation.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize
