i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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