He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
