i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
