u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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