so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
