With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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